Man do I have it bad lately. I just don’t know what to write! In fact, I don’t know what to write so badly that I’m writing about it. How’s that for intense? The worse part about it is that I know where it’s coming from: Self-Doubt. Man do I hate admitting that. I adore writing, and I’ve been doing a lot of it lately seeing as I’ve been writing up my entirely new wellness program and have even done some work on my lovely little book project as well. But my blog? Dead. So dead. All because I can’t muster enough trust in myself that this is all going to work. I knew it was coming. All the books say it does. When you are this passionate about something and so sparked by new ideas, there is bound to be that phase of “Wait, I thought I could do what?” And that’s where I am right in this hot second. Sucks, but it’s true. I suppose I’m hoping that I’ll write my way out of the funk. That this post will be my pep talk and tomorrow I’ll feel dandy. But I guess I’m not sure that’s true.
Deep down I can feel success brewing. Deep, deep down. I can see a day when you are holding my new planner in your hot little hands. I can visualize that moment when new wellness clients are flooding my forum brimming with health, adventure, and vibrancy. I can picture my lovingly crafted book arriving to your inbox next summer. I can feel that success. I can see it on the horizon, but it’s such a distant horizon. Right now I got zilch and that is pretty hard to cope with truth be told.
The books say you’ll doubt, but don’t. They tell you it will happen, but don’t let it. That’s not so helpful right now though, you know? I’m sure its temporary. I’ll go to yoga, get some fresh air, write more blog posts about nothing, and in another second or two my gusto will be back and I’ll be back on the rampage. For now though, I guess what I need is some love. Next week I’ll be back on the warpath, even my astrology tells me so (and for this month I choose to believe it). November is my month and nothing is going to take it from me! Come December I will be a powerhouse of productivity and a shining beacon of success. For now though, I’m done with this post. I’m going to go cuddle with my husband and watch Downton Abbey because I just need a little extra love. I might even ask for some back tickles while I’m at it or have him play with my hair (don’t tell him I told you that he does that.)
If you’ve hit the doubt, I feel for you. Really I do. So I send you my love too. I’ll see you next month at the coffee shop wearing our finger-less gloves, sipping hot chocolate and laughing about that moment of self-doubt we had. How silly we were, we’ll think. We are awesome! We are! We will be. But right now I need some blankets.